Saturday, March 15, 2014

WHEN SURVIVAL IS A PROCESS, NOT AN OUTCOME.

WHEN SURVIVAL IS A PROCESS, NOT AN OUTCOME.
Unfortunately, and rather undeservedly, books of my first novel’s genre are widely referred to as misery memoirs, which I feel is an injustice to many authors. For many of us, our stories are true accounts about life experiences and the effect they have upon us, either good or bad, and are intended to inform, inspire or even be learnt from.
In the case of Kill Daddy, I hope to reach people from all walks of life, who have a genuine interest in humanity and the nature of human beings. I hope Kill Daddy will be a comfort to those who are lost and alone, a warning to those who are abusing, without fully realizing the possible consequences of their actions, informative to those who have friends or family who are suffering, thought provoking to those who remain in denial, and an inspiration to those who believe the abuse will ruin their lives.
My book is not about blame, I have travelled the world and forged a wonderful life for myself, and I am not going to give my abusers any credit for that. However, the basic rules of cause and effect do apply, and I know that because I was abused and mistreated, I have an inability to form relationships with other people. Those who would easily say, ‘Move on. Stop blaming others for your failings’, are sadly misguided. I am one of the happiest people I know, and I have led a very exciting and interesting life, following my heart one hundred percent, but I battle with the loneliness and the memories every day, and I have realized it is something I must learn to live with because it will not go away.
Surviving abuse is not about moving on, it is about accepting what happened and doing your best not to let it grind you down. It is about constantly fighting against your demons, who tell you to withdraw, trust no one and be alone. Surviving abuse, is reaching a point when you can let people in again, fill your head with more positive thoughts than negative ones, and find the strength to go out in the world and carve a life out for yourself, which gives you a feeling of self-worth again.
I am not a survivor, I am surviving, and I want Kill Daddy to be a reminder to others like me that they have to keep on fighting, because there a mostly good people out there, and life can be fun. You just have to find the strength to join in again. Do not be bullied into feigning a quick fix so that others feel more comfortable, healing is a process, and like many physical injuries there will sometimes be scars forever.
By Gerald Freeman